妙趣橫生英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)五則

　　幽默笑話(huà)，能讓你在信手翻啟間開(kāi)懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放松、心緒的怦然萌動(dòng)、情感的欣然釋放。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)妙趣橫生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)五則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　妙趣橫生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：那就更糟了

　　Policeman:Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed Of your watch?

　　警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢?

　　Man: lf I had opened my mouth,they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　男子：要是我張口的話(huà)，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

　　妙趣橫生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：心理醫(yī)生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "l've got trouble.Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. l'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and l'II cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" one hundred dollars per visit. " I'll sleep on it, " said Jerry. Six months later the doctormet Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.¨For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for."" Is that so! How?"¨He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"

　　杰瑞去看心理醫(yī)生。¨醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了I…‘給我一年時(shí)間，¨醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。¨¨怎么收費(fèi)呢?”¨每次一百美元。…‘我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。¨杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，¨為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?¨醫(yī)生問(wèn)。¨一次一百塊錢(qián)嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢(qián)就把我治好了。真的?他怎么做到的?”他讓我把床腿鋸掉?，F(xiàn)在那兒沒(méi)人了!

　　妙趣橫生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：還這么迷信

　　Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, ¨I hear sirens. Jump!"

　　兩個(gè)盜賊在一家旅館偷東西o第一個(gè)說(shuō)：¨我聽(tīng)到警報(bào)響了，快跳吧!”

　　The second one said, ¨But we're on the 13th floor!”

　　第二個(gè)說(shuō)：¨但是我們?cè)?3層啊!"

　　The first one screamed back, ¨This is no time to be superstrtiousl!

　　第一個(gè)朝他大喊道：¨都什么時(shí)候了，還這么迷信!¨

　　妙趣橫生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：在黑暗中寫(xiě)字

　　A kid asked his dad,"Hey,Pop,can you write in the dark?”

　　有個(gè)孩子問(wèn)他爸爸：嘿，爸，你能在黑暗中寫(xiě)字嗎?

　　The dad answered,"Sure. What do you want me to write?”

　　爸爸回答：當(dāng)然。你要我寫(xiě)什么?

　　The boy said, "Your name on this report card,"

　　男孩說(shuō)：在這個(gè)成績(jī)單上寫(xiě)你的名字。”

　　妙趣橫生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：我考了100分

　　A tricky girl said, "Mom,I got a one hundred in school today!

　　一個(gè)狡猾的女孩說(shuō)："媽媽?zhuān)医裉煸趯W(xué)校得了一個(gè)100分!"

　　The mom replied, "Great,SW8etie,tell me about it."

　　媽媽回答說(shuō)："太好了，小可愛(ài)。跟我說(shuō)說(shuō)情況."

　　The girl reluctantly said,"Well,I got a twenty in math,a thirty in history and a fifty in spelling."

　　這個(gè)女孩不情愿地說(shuō)："嗯，我數(shù)學(xué)得了20分，歷史得了30分,拼寫(xiě)得了50分。